Everyone's a pub-namer
It is an interesting social phenomenon that upon announcing one's intention of opening a pub, everyone and their mother has got a great name for it that you absolutely must use. I've collected the following rogues' gallery of unpromising dactyls from my housemates:
1. The Teats and Ass (Lyle)
His idea for the shingle illustration was that of a cow's teat violating a buttock, at which point I suggested that he took his pornography too early and too often.
2. The Butter Place! (Philippe)
I cannot use this.
3. Auld Tarnahan's (Onstad)
As ever, he is thinking like a marketing firm and not a local pub owner. I don't know anyone named Tarnahan, and it is not common for me to use the old spelling "Auld." The whole thing smacks of the ersatz.
4. The Dude and Catastrophe (Roast Beef)
He was very much involved in some sort of computer meltdown when I solicited him, and I expect he will come up with something better later.
5. RAY, RAY, A HUNDRED RAYS, ONE THOUSAND RAYS (Ray)
I called him a bit late in the evening, and did not get anything beyond this suggestion before he dramatically hung up.
I continue my search for the perfect name. I can tell that this will be difficult, and I can also tell that I ought to stop asking anyone's advice.